Fadu Alia Bhatt Jokes In Hindi

Alia is back...

Alia Bhatt - Safola oil toh de diya bhaiya. Is kee sath ka gift nahi diya.
Shopkeeper -  Isske sath koyi gift nahi hai.
Alia - Ullu matt banao isme likha hai "Cholesterol Free".
       
Varun - How many apples can you eat on an empty stomach?
Aliya - I can eat 6 apples.
Varun - Wrong. you can eat only 1 apple on empty stomach bcoz when you eat the 2nd apple that's not an empty stomach!
Aliya: Wow superb joke. I'll tell my friend..
Aliya to Shraddha - How many apples you can eat on an empty stomach?
Shraddha - I can eat 10.
Aliya - Pagal.. 6 bolti to mast joke sunati!!

Alia Bhatt calls the Help Desk to complain a computer problem.
Alia - When I type computer password, it just shows star star star star. What's the problem?
Help Desk - Dear lady, those stars are to protect you, so that if a person is standing behind, he can't read your password.
Alia - Yeah, but stars appear even when there is no one standing behind me.

First time in the history it has happened....!
Rajnikant vs Alia.
Question to both in a competition.
What is half of 8?
Rajni: 4
Alia: Depend karta hai....
agar horizontally half karo to ''0'' or vertically karo to ''3''
Rajnikant still unconcious...!!!

Alia bhatt: Hey dad, what plans for weekend ?
Mahesh bhatt: Income Tax Returns.      
Alia bhatt: Hey first part kab release hua tha?
Mahesh bhatt:  Jaa meri ma, tu shooting pe ja!!!

100 metre ki race ho rahi thi...
Referee said '1,2,3 GO!'...
Everybody started running except Alia bhatt.
Referee - Y r u not running...?
Alia - My number is 4.

SBI Bank: Humara bank aapko bina interest ke loan de raha hai....
Alia bhat: Agar dene mein interest hi nahi hai to kyu de rahe ho? Nahi chahiye....

Once there was a mirror that killed anyone who lied...
FRENCH : I think I dont smoke (died).
AMERICAN : I think I love my wife (died).
ALIA BHATT: I think.. (died)

Alia bhatt and varun dhawan are walking on a road, and they find a 1000 rupee note lying down.
Alia - What should we do now?
Varun- We'll take 50:50.
Alia- What about the remaining 900?

Alia Bhatt: Let's go for movie.
Varun: Shit, I've got a doctor's appointment today..
Alia Bhatt: Just cancel it, Tell him you're sick.

Alia reading newspaper..
News:
"Indian athlete lost gold medal in long jump"
Aalia comments:
Idiot!!
Who told him to wear gold medal while jumping!!!

Deepika Padukone : I have more Fans than You...
Alia Bhatt: No Big deal, I have AC at Home...

Padosan Ke Sath Movie

Wife: Tum kal padosan ke sath movie dekhne gaye the?

Husband: Kya Karu... Tuh toh jaanti ho, aaj-kal family ke sath dekhne layak film banti hi kahan hai...

Your Father Has Not Yet Come Home

Son: Mom, I am not feeling sleepy... Can you tell a story...?

Mom: Dear, even I am not feeling sleepy. Your father has not yet come home. When he comes, will ask him why he is late... Then see how many stories he tells...

Little Chicken & His Mother

Little Chicken To His Mother:
Maa Insaan Paida Hote Hi Apna Naam Rakh Lete Hai! Hum Log Aisa Kyun Nahi Kartey?

Mother:
Beta, Apni Biradri Mein Naam Marne Ke Baad Rakha Jata Hai!
Chicken Tikka, Chicken65, Chicken Chilly, Chicken Tandoori, Chicken Malai Mirch, Kadhai Chicken etc.. etc...

Normal Friend Thi Woh Meri

Arz Kiya Hai...

Normal Friend Thi Woh Meri, Achanak Se Mere Liye Khaas Ho Gayi...

Zindari Bhar Fail Hoti Thi, Kambakht Pregnancy Test Mein Paas Ho Gayi...

Faltu Shayari For GirlFriend

Ji Pesh Karte Hai Ki...

Log Kehte Hai Ki Khuda Ne Aapko Badi Fursat Mein Banaya Hain...

Theek Hi Kehte Hai, Faltoo Kaam Fursat Mein Hi Toh Kiye Jaate Hain...

Bus Conductor And Santa

Bus Conductor To Santa:

Full Pant Full Ticket.
Half Pant Half Ticket.

Suddenly Santa Removed His Pant And Says:

No Pant No Ticket.

Pappu Ka English

Higher English - Once Upon A Waqt.

There Was Kauwa.

He Was Very Pyasa.

Here - There Bhatka,

He Saw A Matka,

Some Pathar Patka Little Water Gatka And Satka.

Wife Joins English Speaking Class

Wife Joins English Speaking Class.

After Few Days...

Wife: Welcome Home Darling.

Husband: I Am So Tired Today.

Wife: OK. Rest In Peace.